Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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