Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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