you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize