My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
