Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
