You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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