let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
