I heard we made out
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
