You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize