I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
