come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
