Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
