nut hugger
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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