I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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