About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
