normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
