I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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