Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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