his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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