I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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