i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
