Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
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Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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