I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize