your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
