Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
