im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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