therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
