she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you mean i was at the winter classic?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
