I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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