How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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