Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That accounts for only three of the penises
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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