i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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