tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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