Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
