she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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