I bet he comes in French.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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