the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
