Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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