I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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