It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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