do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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