So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
