I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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