All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
