I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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