I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
