Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
