You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
