Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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