And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
