you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
