Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
