maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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