I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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