Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
