There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
