I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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