I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
