Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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