he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
