So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
