I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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