just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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