She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
