is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
home. puking in laundry basket.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
