so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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