i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
