Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this beer tastes like vomit already
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
