I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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