Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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